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Posts Tagged ‘Humor’

Google Dashboard and preferred language issue

06 Nov

Well that’s annoying…one thing Google doesn’t do intelligently is languages. I am logged into my account, they KNOW I speak English as a preferred language, but when I go to my iGoogle [google.com] page on my iPhone whilst I’m in Belgium it insists on displaying everything in Dutch.

That was annoying enough…but now the dashboard is doing the same, even when I visit the page from my laptop.

Google, you KNOW I speak English, stop overriding my account setting for my language with demographic data based on my IP address. When I’m traveling it doesn’t make me fluent in the local language…

*slaps the company on the nose with a rolled up newspaper* Bad Google, bad bad portal!

– Pete. (c) Comment

That’s one of the reasons I love Slashdot – proper way of commenting the things! :)

Oh, yeah, about Google Dashboard – yep, it’s quite handy and useful! :)

 
No Comments

Posted in Google, Links

 

Hugh Laurie – “America”

06 Nov

 
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Posted in Links

 

Real Microsoft Vista code leaked!

08 May


/*
TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Project:Longhorn(TM) SP1
Estimated release date:2008
*/
#include “win95.h”
#include “win98.h”
#include “leopard.h”

char chew_up_some_ram[10000000];

void main () {
while (!CRASHED) {

if (first_time_install) {
make_10_gigabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
search_and_destroy(FIREFOX | OPENOFFICEORG | ANYTHING_GOOGLE);
hang_system();
}

if (still_not_crashed) {
basically_run_windows_xp();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}

if (!DX10GPU()) {
set_graphics(aero, very_slow);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
}

// printf(”Welcome to Windows 2000?);
// printf(”Welcome to Windows XP”);
printf(”Welcome to Windows Vista”);

while (something) {
sleep(10);
get_user_input();
sleep(10);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(10);
flicker_led_promisingly(hard_disk);
}

creat_general_protection_fault();
}

 
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Posted in Heap

 

Linux Antivirus

17 Jan

Here is a Linux Virus scanner for you:

!# /bin/bash
echo Linux virus scanner
sleep(1)
echo Scanning now...
sleep(10)
echo Still scanning...
sleep(10)
echo Almost done...
sleep(5)
echo Drum roll...
sleep(3)
echo No viruses found!!!
sleep(1)
echo Done

References go to Ubuntuforums

Updates: First add-on for Linux Antivirus released, just add few lines at the bottom of the code:

eject
play tada.wav

 
3 Comments

Posted in Blogging

 

Irony of The Matrix movie

21 Nov

It’s already 8 years, when the first movie from Matrix trilogy came out. After a couple of times, watching it with friends at the beginning I liked it. Some interesting ideas, scenario approaches, story line.

Comparing it with those movies released in 1999, Matrix was awesome. But I’ve never thought of the facts like:

  • Agent Smith looks like a typical garbage collector with AI encapsulations. Could you imagine this utility with some humour and irony nowadays.
  • Neo. A tiny bug in the system with machine learning capabilities. Of course, later on we’ll understand that’s not just a simple bug, however knowing the story in full, looks a bit amusing.
  • Piphia, or a lady with a vase. Statistical path analyser. Looks like a Best-cost algorithm with some sophisticated evaluation functionality and a sense of humour. So you shouldn’t worry about the vase!
  • Cypher, or a bad good guy. A very very greedy bug – impossible of being fixed – thus, rewritten from scratch or simply deleted.
  • Switch,or the only girl in white. Very small and fast transition from “enable” to “disable” states in the movie!
  • Mouse, or lady-in-red boyfriend. C’mon, there should be at least one kid hacker, otherwise that’s not a hacker movie!

Waiting to watch the Matrix Reload, hopefully, so more amusing computer alternatives will appear which I didn’t noticed back to its premier.

 
4 Comments

Posted in Blogging

 

Tune of a day: Electric Six – Danger.High voltage!

31 Oct

 
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Posted in Links

 

7.04 to 7.10 Ubuntu desktop

22 Oct

Heck! I was expecting some power consumption improvements, but still 4 hours XP vs. 2 hours Gusty.

Trying to make this post useful, follow these lines:

sudo aptitude update
sudo aptitude upgrade
sudo aptitude dist-upgrade

And remember: the more you misspell these three lines the longer upgrade will be! Be aware of grammar mistakes, folks!

 
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Posted in Links

 

Safari vs IE vs Netscape vs Firefox

01 Jul

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdEQh83nqjU[/video]
Just GetFirefox video ad

 
No Comments

Posted in Links

 
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